‘Girl code’ never existed… | Rebecca Jane column

A stream of women appear to be associated to him, all the while, he has a ‘childhood sweetheart’ behind the scenes.

An actress is the one currently having to defend her position. She is in the firing line of a stream of women saying ‘where is your girl code?,’ ‘she should have known better’ – and these are the comments we can publish!

In the meantime, Mr Footballer is sat back entirely unscathed while she is taking the brunt of the abuse for him. He is the one in the relationship, he is the one who is committed to another and yet very few seem to have anything negative to say about him.

He is the one IN the relationship, he is the one who is committed to another and yet very few seem to have anything negative to say about him!

‘Where is your girl code?’ I can tell you where her ‘girl code is’, in exactly the same place as the women bashing her! Do THEY have ‘girl code’? Why are they using their voice to attack her, and not him? What even is ‘girl code’?

Is ‘girl code’ an unwritten rule where we must turn down every person who tells us they are single just in case they aren’t?! Or should ‘girl code’ actually be where we support other women, voice our expression that they may have let us down, but we DON’T jump at any chance to slate them when we don’t even know the truth?!

I am not innocent, and I speak as someone that has made ‘mistakes’ and at times firmly entered into behaviour I am not proud of with people in relationships. I am yet to meet anyone who is 100% innocent in all aspects of their life, because we’re human and at times, we get it wrong!

I’ve had two situations in the last year where I haven’t behaved wonderfully, when it comes to men in relationships.

I’ve been on the receiving end too. I’ve had a few relationships when men have been unfaithful, and I don’t ever remember blaming the other woman. It takes two to tango… my partners will have absolutely filled these women’s heads with nonsense and lies, why should I blame them for believing them?

What am I going to do?! Kick off that they didn’t have a crystal ball and see the lies they were being told?! How far do we take it? Every time someone tells us they’re single or they have left their marriage, do we start a comprehensive background check or do we stalk them until we find more evidence?!

People can be devious. The people we need to start holding accountable for poor behaviour are the people in relationships, REGARDLESS OF THEIR GENDER.

‘Girl code’ to me, is yet another tool for women to bash each other with. It doesn’t exist. We shouldn’t define the behaviour standards we should live by according to gender.

Direct the anger elsewhere and drop the ‘girl code’ nonsense!