Chips and gravy no more

It is one of the saddest phenomenoms of the year and rarely has a subject united so many.

Tuesday, 25th July 2017, 4:25 pm
Updated Monday, 11th September 2017, 12:44 pm
Nicola Adam
Nicola Adam


But not just any nosh.

The type of food obtained late at night in a styrofoam container.

A nice burger

The type of food that, should you stare at it for an hour, you still might not be able to tell what it is.

Food more delicious than the finest eight course Michelin star offering, tastier than the roast dinner of your dreams and more welcome than a lottery win - so great is your need.

It is the great British post-drinking late feast and it is going out of fashion.

Chips and gravy or curry sauce, a doner kebab, the greasiest of pizza - all delicacies that have brought joy to generations eager to soak up a nightof lager or cider or half and half snakebait for those so inclined.

A nice burger

All of these foods of giants are no longer as in demand as food becomes available simply everywhere.

Every pub sells a gourmet thrice-fried free-range chicken burger, every wine bar a pulled (insert name of animal ) baguette doused in spicy sauce, every corner shop an organic falafal Malaysian burrito with extra guacamole.

The hunger is no more as revellers travel home sated, thoughts of a greasy dirt burger far from their minds as they meander backfull of trendy gins and a belly full of clean-eating salad.

They will never experience the joy of queuing for over-priced grease that sobers you up in a jiffy, possibly accompanies you to bed and on very special occasions, wakes up with you in the morning.

Of course the royalty of late-night feasts has been for decades,the simply curry house.

We hear of the closure of these emporiums of late-night deliciousness every day, as they lose custom to the web-based takeaways, the food-everywhere culture, to pubs that sell approximations of curry.

They may still be the only places open late at night but sensible youngsters go home these days.

The core customer base has been lost as young people swap a kebab for a vegetable spiraliser, a late night out for a night in with a Netflix box-set and avocado on toast.

They may be healthier but it’s the saddest thing I’ve ever heard.