My ideal weather ... if I ruled the world

Pic Kevin Allen.
Pic Kevin Allen.
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After the settled weather of early December, I suppose things had to change eventually and wherever I went the other week the rain simply did not stop.

Even at 2pm most drivers had their lights turned on. Miserable stuff.

The weather isn’t supposed to be like that in the countdown to Christmas, so if I ruled the world, things would be different.

Temperatures should fall just enough at nightfall to make it feel ‘Christmasy’... just enough to make you need a warm coat, to make (hot) mulled wine appealing. Chestnuts roasted at these German markets should feel like real outdoor Christmas comfort food.

I was out walking Monty on the canal bank one teatime, trudging through muddy ground pulverised by the torrential rain, and managed to further perfect my break dancing techniques by losing my footing as my boots failed to get any purchase on the slippery ground and taking a fall. Fortunately only my pride was hurt.

But it shouldn’t be like that. The skies should not have been leaden with rain, but clear, the ground firming up as a light frost starts to develop and the land bathed in moonlight.

Winter should start on December 1st as we look to Christmas and provide stable frosty weather that would then define the winter season until late February, before spring starts.

A touch of snow would be nice but preferably only on high ground and never on roads. Ice is fine for a while on ponds and lakes but black ice on roads and paths should be outlawed.

It should be just cold enough for the snowman to survive well into the New Year, and of course the snow should be ‘of the right sort’. Snow should never stick between the front door of the house and my car door.

As I don’t own a wind farm, I would love to do without any wind stronger than a steady breeze. It brings nothing but nuisance and when it blows all you can do is sit it out and assess the damage when things settle down. Far better if we could use solar energy 24 hours a day, long after dark in a form which would provide all our energy needs exactly when we needed it. Imagine it, solar panels that keep working at night.

Of course, it would be lovely to have more hours of daylight.

Light levels, I feel, affect my mood and it is always cheering to note that although we have all of the winter ahead of us, the shortest day is now past and in hours of daylight terms, things are already getting better.

As I tuck into my sadly, non-turkey Christmas dinner it would be great to see snow flakes falling steadily, but only settling in fields miraculously leaving roads safe and clear and leaving the race course clear of ice and snow at Wetherby for the Boxing Day racing.

Mind you I expect it to be cold enough to make the hog roast sandwiches an essential part of the day.

I suppose what I am asking for is proper winter weather that defines the season, but which provides no nuisance or hazard.

Then come the spring, an abrupt end to frosty weather, the start of mild sunny days with regular night time rain.

An impossible dream?

Perhaps, especially since I do not rule the world, but along with health and happiness I cannot think of a better Christmas present.

A very Merry Christmas to you all, and a safe, happy and prosperous New Year!