At different times and in different places, I have been required to wear a hat or shoes or whatever and, at other times and in other places, I have been required not to wear them.

It has been more complicated for my wife. Once, on a sweltering trip to Jerusalem, she had to become a veritable striptease artiste to satisfy the hang-ups of the more backward locals.

In the civilised parts of the city, her pretty summer frock sufficed, but, as we approached the extremist Jewish and Moslem quarters, she had to put on a cardigan and headscarf quite unsuited to the temperature.

As we walked, we were constantly on the lookout for indications we had moved from the more backward to more modern parts of town so she could take off the sweaty articles.

Until recently, it had never occurred to me that any Englishman would ever get seriously het up about another person's dress. I felt we were simply too civilised for that, but it seems I was wrong. I often am.

Last week, Colette Gillen, the headmistress of Our Lady and St John's Catholic Art College, in Blackburn, called the police to her school because one of the mothers, herself a former pupil, had turned up for a parents' evening wearing a niqab, a sort of tent with eye holes, quite common in parts of Blackburn and places East.

Like the extremists in Jerusalem, poor Colette evidently feels threatened by dress different to her own; so threatened she had to call a copper. Fortunately, Mr Plod was too civilised to do anything except wish Colette better.

The expansion of NATO has given rise to other acts of intolerance. We always used to be able to rely on NATO members to be pretty level headed, or at least take a joke. There are plenty of devout Roman Catholics among its citizens, but, if they come across a cartoon at the Pope's or even their Saviour's expense, they tend simply to look down their noses at it, rather than setting out to slaughter the heathen who drew it.

Now the Turks are members and – I jest not – their Prime Minister, Mr Erdogan, has objected to the appointment of Anders Rasmussen as Secretary General because, as Prime Minister of Denmark, he failed to execute or imprison or cut the right hands off some newspaper editors who published cartoons mocking Mahommed.

Perhaps I should introduce Colette to Mr Erdogan. They both seem so dreadfully intolerant of people whose approach differs from their own that intolerance itself might become the basis of a beautiful friendship.

The Economist, last week, carried the interesting intelligence that the current recession has led to a boom in the use of paid, internet dating sites. My introduction might even save both Colette and Erdogan a bob or two.